


Hogwarts DIY

by Torak (awmperry)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-04
Updated: 2010-07-04
Packaged: 2017-10-10 09:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/98161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awmperry/pseuds/Torak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kingsley Shacklebolt launches a plan to rebuild Hogwarts, he must negotiate a maze of obstacles, not least of which is his Permanent Secretary, Sir Algernon Chumbleforth-Smythe. But then he has an idea to bypass the bureaucratic cauldron-measurers...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hogwarts DIY

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are very much appreciated - as is constructive criticism. Thanks for reading.

# 

**Hogwarts DIY**

  


## 

_or_

  


## 

**Some Things Should Be Left To Professionals**

"We need to get Hogwarts back up and running," said Sir Algernon Chumbleforth-Smythe, the cabinet secretary. "We can't leave it closed for more than absolutely necessary."

"Longer," Percy Weasley said absently from where he stood behind the secretary.

"Quite, Percy." Sir Algernon rolled his eyes. "Where would we be without you? Minister, Hogwarts must be opened at the earliest possible juncture. Leaving it closed would be seen as a lack of confidence in our education system and security arrangements."

"And it would leave a whole lot of children without the education they need," Kingsley Shacklebolt added.

"Well, quite, Minister. That too."

Shacklebolt steepled his fingers.

"What's the problem, then? Just rebuild the castle."

"It's not that simple, Minister. There are workmen to be administered, schedules to be drawn up... the Ministry will have to take on more staff to administer the works... specifications for the work... budgetary constraints... and the unions, of course, won't wear it. It would involve their members working, of which, naturally, they very emphatically do not approve."

"And presumably some actual building will have to feature at some point?"

"Yes, Minister. Eventually."

"The main problem is the wards, Minister." Percy handed the Minister a slim file. "The ward system around Hogwarts has been added to, expanded, adapted and adjusted over a thousand years. Some parts have been rebuilding themselves, other parts have been actively fighting the masons."

"We've tried to get through the wards, but they are extremely powerful. It would take a highly skilled craftsman to get through them. Even then it could take years." The Secretary smiled broadly. "_Decades_."

Percy cleared his throat.

"There... um... is one option, Minister. Harry's—"

The Secretary glared at him, cutting him off. "Anyway, Minister, if that's all, I'll go ahead and set up the analysis committees to formulate a plan for the organisation of an investigation into the possibility of a rebuilding effort."

"No, Algernon. I want the school back and running soon. Percy, what were you saying?"

"The Elder Wand. It shouldn't have any trouble getting through the wards."

"Will Harry go for it?"

"Hogwarts is practically home for him. I think he will."

"All right." Kingsley poured himself another cup of coffee. "Ask him to drop by in the next few days."

*      *      *

"I wish I could help, Minister, but I don't have the wand any more."

Shacklebolt raised an eyebrow.

"You don't? It's a rather valuable item to drop down the back of the sofa, Harry."

"Oh, it's not there. It's... somewhere safe. Somewhere I can't get it back from, somewhere no one can get it back from. It's too dangerous to have around."

Shacklebolt sighed. "Well, if you can't get it back, I suppose there's little we can do."

"You could talk to Bill and the rest of the people at Gringott's. They're trained at this sort of thing — if they can't do it, there's no way I'd manage it, even with that wand."

"All right." Kingsley sat back in his chair and seemed to mull it over for a moment. "All right. Besides, no one can say you haven't done your share. Any thoughts what you'll do now?"

"The wedding on Tuesday, then Ginny and I go off on our honeymoon." Harry grinned. "Or as I prefer to think of it, a very long holiday with nobody asking me to save the world."

Kingsley chuckled.

"Well, you've certainly earned it. Can we write to you while you're away?"

"Yeah, just give the cards to Hedwig. She'll know where to go."

Kingsley frowned. "But didn't she..."

Harry nodded, a glint in his eye. "Yeah. But put it this way: repairing my old wand was the _second_ to last spell the Elder Wand cast..."

*      *      *

> _
> 
> Dear Harry,
> 
> _
> 
> _Work's coming along nicely here at Hogwarts, and we've had plenty of diversions to keep us interested. Just yesterday, for example, we had a look at that door you had trouble with just before you left. Remember, the one that singed your eyebrows off? (Have they grown back yet, by the way? George wants to know.) Turned out you were right — it did have a pretty nasty set of hexes linked to the flagstone in front of it. We got rid of all of them and got the door unlocked eventually, but Grobsnarf will probably have the ears for a few days yet._
> 
> _Oh, and we got into the catacombs. How? Well, do you know that block of sandstone in the wall of Myrtle's bogs? Turned out it was a sort of backup lock. Anyway, so we've been renovating down there, sorted some stuff out, turned the whole place into a DADA assault course_
> 
> _We had some trouble getting through a few things — all sorts of bureaucratic government processes we had to overcome just to get the building works started. And wouldn't you know it, PERCY's running the show. "Can't do that, you haven't filled out form 3822A in triplicate." "Nope, can't do that, you haven't masticated the flange to specifications." We had to repaint the greenhouses twice because the roof — THE ROOF! — didn't have the right anti-slip paint. Apparently anyone trying to break into the greenhouses might slip and sue the Ministry..._
> 
> _Oh, and the hidden shelter you suggested? Great idea. We put it in last week, just a few of us from the Order. Anything happens from now on, students and staff can just pile in there and wait out a siege. And it's guaranteed dementor-proof._
> 
> _I'm starting to wonder if McG's idea of letting students suggest things was such a good plan, though. So far we've had requests for more rooms of requirement, swimming pools, a padded floor in the Astronomy Tower, dozens more broom cupboards — I don't know what people see in them, anyway, just cramped and cluttered, and you end up with a dustpan digging into your back — even a waterslide into the Chamber. The boss drew the line at the Whack-A-Snorcack stall in the Great Hall._
> 
> _(Oh, and I just know you'll be devastated to hear that the Slytherin common room's ceiling just happened to spring a leak... can't imagine how it happened. Funny thing about being under the lake is that... well, you're under a lake. Whoops.)_
> 
> _Anyway, hope you're having fun wherever you are, and take good care of Gin, alright? Just remember, we know where you live... ;-)_
> 
> _Bill_

Harry smiled, folded the letter into a paper aeroplane and pitched it out to sea. He lay back on the sand and grinned at the redhead beside him.

"Bill says hi," he said. Ginny chuckled, sipping down the last of something colourful with a little umbrella in it.

"Still sorry you let them do something on their own for a change?" she asked, leaning over to dribble the icy remnants of her drink onto his chin.

Harry looked around, taking in the beach, the secluded bay, the sea, the sun, the palm trees. And Ginny. Sun, sea, sand and... um, Ginny. He grinned again.

"Not a chance." He tried to lick the icy slush off his chin, but found that his tongue wouldn't reach. (If you want to try that particular lingual contortion, dear reader, I can strongly recommend it for anyone but me. On those long, slow afternoons it can provide hours of innocent fun for all the family, though I suspect Ginny intended to remove at least one significant word from that sentence.)

Ginny assisted him, giggling, then kissed him, letting the sharp tang of raspberry sneak into his mouth. She relaxed onto his chest.

"No stupidly noble urges to go back there any time soon?" she murmured.

"None at all," Harry replied at much the same volume.

"Good," she muttered, kissing him again before whispering in his ear: "Break's over."

She stood, pulling him to his feet and towards the lone beach house nestled just inside the treeline.

"What, again?" Harry joked, feigning a look of exhausted melodrama. "Keep this up, and I'll start needing longer breaks..."

He ran after her, grinning. Yes, there were compensations to being the saviour of the wizarding world. Easy, visa-free apparation to the Bahamas, for one.


End file.
